After putting my shoes back on post-security and waving goodbye to my Mom and her boyfriend one last time, I began the long walk down to gate K19 at O’Hare airport. A flood of emotions came upon me.
This is going to be a truly awesome adventure!
What was I doing?
Man, I’m going to miss my friends and family back home.
Uh oh, is my Spanish up to par? I should have practiced more…
I sure hope I can sleep on this flight.
Spain. Wow. I can’t wait to be over there–only 15 hours of travel left…
It’s going to be different not seeing my family and living with my best friends every day.
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These were just some of the thoughts and emotions that ran through me as I took that long walk down to my departure gate. Honestly, I don’t remember the walk at all as I was so overrun with these emotions. While there was a mix of excited, worried, fear, and happiness, most of all I just kept thinking, “Wow. I have dreamt about this day for so many years, and it’s finally here!”
In a way, it seems almost unbelievable. Ever since looking at my great-grandmother’s postcards, reading travel articles, and scouring maps and atlases as a child, I have wanted to live abroad on my own, and today it was finally happening.
This day seemed so far off since applying to the auxiliar de conversación program back in January, and even after getting accepted in May. Heck, all summer my departure date seemed like a far off date that would never really arrive. I mean, even after I left my job to teach in Spain, that two weeks I gave myself to prepare, move out of my apartment, pack, and say goodbyes seemed like an eternity. However, those two weeks flew by. Trust me, I wish I would have had longer to get ready to leave. Although, the time crunch was balanced out my an extra paycheck from my old job and mad worse because of my procrastination. Oops. Sorry for the excess stress, Mom!
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The day was here though. After all these years of waiting, I was boarding the plane that would take me on the adventure I had always dreamt of. I won’t lie though. Beneath that “I’m so excited. I’ve always dreamt of this feeling” was “Seriously, Mike. Turn around. Walk back out and leave. What are you doing?!” Luckily, I did not do that. I could have, but I know it’s not what I wanted.
When I arrived at the gate, I called my Mom and Dad one last time. Hearing my Dad tell me, “I’m proud of you and proud to call you my son,” and my Mom say, “I’m so proud of you and to be able to say that my son just moved to another country,” felt great. Actually, it felt better than great. It’s just what I needed as I was waiting by the gate pondering how to deal with these emotions and thinking there better be halfway decent in-flight entertainment in order to hep distract me from all this over-thinking, something I’m admittedly bad at.
(Source)
I sit here now, in the Madrid airport, waiting for my bus to take me to Logroño. My plan was to write on the flight, but due to a very reclined seat in front of me, Anchorman 2, Modern Family, and about 5 hours of solid sleep (which meant I missed the breakfast they served), I’m writing it now. It all worked out though.
After getting my luggage, meeting a few other auxiliares, and buying my plane ticket, all feels right. I could not be happier with the decision I made not to walk back from my departure gate in Chicago. There will undoubtedly be tough times ahead filled with homesickness, challenges, and possible regret, but there will also be times of extreme happiness and the knowledge that I am following a dream of mine. I truly could not be happier right now. Sitting here listening to Spanish sipping my overpriced, airport café con leche writing this made me all the more excited to get to Logroño and get settled in.
While I miss my family and friends, I know I’m in the right place for me right now, and that’s what I needed after not really having that feeling for the last couple years. It’s something that’s been lacking from my life that I have not felt until now. I am experiencing the world the way I want to and living the life I have always dreamt of. I am where I need to be, and I cannot thank everyone enough for supporting and encouraging me on this journey. Thank you.
As a disclaimer, I’ve been without internet since I arrived aside from going to cafes, so I wrote this and a few other posts out a while ago and am finally getting around to posting them now. Enjoy!